Transient Observers and Variable Constants, or Repelling the Invasion of the Boltzmann's Brains

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If the universe expands exponentially without end, ``ordinary observers'' like ourselves may be vastly outnumbered by ``Boltzmann's brains,'' transient observers who briefly flicker into existence as a result of quantum or thermal fluctuations. One might then wonder why we are so atypical. I show that tiny changes in physics--for instance, extremely slow variations of fundamental constants--can drastically change this result, and argue that one should be wary of conclusions that rely on exact knowledge of the laws of physics in the very distant future.